I’ve decided that I need a writer for my blog. Well, not a writer but someone to feed me ideas.
Side-bar: does anyone else find it weird that all of the famous comedians actually have people that write their jokes for them? Chelsea Handler, for example, has an entire staff of writers. How does that work? Do you have to be funny to get famous and then once you’re famous, you don’t have to come up with your own stuff anymore?
Thankfully I have just the right friend that is full of smutty ideas. This is the same friend that I met for the first time on a thirty six hour train ride to Portland with some mutual friends and the first thing she said to me was “tell me a story.” I was like who is this girl? Fast forward nine years, we now work together and she is one of my best friends. To give you a better idea of who she is and how she thinks, think Jack Handy. Not sure who Jack Handy is? Here is one of his quotes:
“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”
Anyway, I was talking to my friend about my blog and in mid-sentence she says:
“Oh my God…I just thought of perfect weekly topic for you. You should call it ‘It Just Got Weird.”
She proceeds to tell me that she has the perfect shitting It Just Got Weird story. I’m not sure what she had for lunch, but while she was talking to another co-worker she suddenly realizes she needs to go to the bathroom. Co-worker says ‘oh, I’ll walk with you.’
Side-bar: shitting in public or while other people are in the restroom will become a blog topic in the future.
My friend panics and thinks to herself ‘ok, I’ll walk to the private restroom and when we get there co-worker will just keep walking to the multi-stall bathroom.’
Friend goes into the private restroom and co-worker keeps walking (or so she thinks). Friend proceeds to take a good 10 minutes in the bathroom and is surprised to see co-worker standing outside of the restroom now with three other people behind her in line.
Can we say....
It Just Got Weird?
Why do people park in driveways and drive in parkways?